What happened to “’til death do us part”? How did we get to this place where more than 50% of marriages end in divorce, and so many just don’t bother to get married anymore? Where is the commitment, through the good and the bad?  What happened to forsaking all others?  What happened to our wedding vows?

I have been filled with disappointment, anger, dismay, frustration and so much more over situations beyond my control recently. It is beyond my comprehension the kind of betrayal people will put the people they supposedly love the most through. I am also dumbfounded by what those around them will tolerate, watch, include themselves in, etc. without taking a stand for what they know to be true and right, for what is best for all parties involved.

Marriage is a sacred vow to another human being, a person who is vowing to you in return. It is an everlasting trust and commitment to each other….”forsaking all others”. When one person breaks that vow it breaks that trust, that security, that commitment. When one person continually does so it destroys the marriage. I am a firm believer in our vows, but I also know that it is a two way street, and if one person jumps out of the boat and doesn’t want to get back in, there isn’t anything the other person can do. No matter how much they wait, hope, love, change, etc. the other person has to want to come back and make things work, really make things work, or the marriage is over.

I pulled out our original, legal, binding wedding vows today. They were the pre-written, basic civil marriage kind of vows, spoken in a town hall and overseen by a town clerk. But they meant something to me, they meant something to my husband. We didn’t need God or witnesses (although we had those), we just needed to make the decision and stick to it…. come what may.

“We have gathered here at this time to celebrate the coming together of two seperate lives. We have come to witness the joining of this man, Joseph Christopher Ciravola, and this woman, Heidi Marie Kron, in marriage; and to celebrate with them the love they have discovered in each other and support them in the making of this important and EVERLASTING commitment…….It is, therefore, a decision which is not to be entered into lightly, but rather is to be undertaken thoughtfully and reverently, with gratitude for the past, hope for the future and great consideration and respect for both the other person and for oneself.

I remind you of the seriousness of your decision to be married. Your love for one another and your constant and continuous commitment to your vows will result in a marriage which is blessed, a peaceful home and a relationship that will flourish.

Will you take this woman/man to be your lawful wedded wife/husband, to live together in the holy estate of matrimony and thereby love her/him comfort her/him, honor and cherish her/him in sickness and in health and forsaking all others keep you only unto her/him for so long as you both shall live?” **the emphasis was mine and was not originally in our vows

Over 14 years later we stand together, good or bad, (and we have had our share of both) wearing the symbols of our commitment, our wedding rings. What exactly is a wedding ring? The wedding rings embody the continuous flow of love, a circle that symbolizes eternity where there is no beginning and no end. It is believed that love moves around endlessly in circles for better or worse. It is an appropriate sign for the true meaning of marriage. The ring unites the married couple through happy or sad times.

It is my sincere hope that some day commitment and marriage will find its way back to importance. That some day the divorce rate will lower and families will stay together. I know that I can’t change anyone else, but I can set an example by upholding my vows, my commitments to my husband. We strive to stay in the growing minority of couples that stay married. No one said it is easy, but it is worth it, not only for us, but for the children we brought into this world.