Keepin It Real

Today marks one week since I have posted anything here on my blog. I am stressed, tired, overwhelmed, disorganized, frazzled, bogged down, and on and on and on……..
 
I have a “To Do” list that is currently longer than one whole sheet of paper. From clearing out outgrown children’s clothes, to getting my 50 State Postcard Swap postcards out, to cleaning yet another bloody towel from our sick dog, the list just keeps growing. The longer it grows, the less productive I get, and the more pounds I gain instead of lose.
 
Where is the fun? Where is the joy? Where is my much needed sense of gratefulness for all the things I do have, and are right in my world? If I could answer these I would currently be in a much better place right now.
 
Tomorrow my Bella turns 12(her party is on Saturday), so does her Uncle. Friday we will start our official school year. I am utterly unprepared. I still have curriculum that has yet to make it to our house! It is due here on Friday – “by the end of the day”, according to UPS Tracking. I used to be prepared before the previous school year had finished, what happened? Where does the time go?
 
After staring at this white screen for multiple minutes I find myself thinking, “If I have nothing positive to say, I should say nothing”. I am also ashamed of feeling so low over seemingly nothing, and yet, here I sit. Tomorrow is another day. Another fresh start to work on my “To Do” list.
 
If the dog stays “healthy” maybe I will get something done tomorrow. I missed writing out my 3in30 Goals for this month, but I would like to include a short list of short term goals here:
 
1. Finish Week 1 and possibly Week 2 Agendas
2. Organize my Curriculum Shelf
3. Finish Book Review due on the 10th
4. Write my “Where were you on Sept 11th” post
 
That should take me through the weekend. Then hopefully I will find myself a little more motivated, and a little less floundering. I am looking forward to the routine of our “school” days to settle this unsettledness in me. I thrive on busy, organized, order. I love lists and schedules and checking completed things off. I am excited about the new things in store for Chloe this year, and continuing to see Ava grow in her reading and writing skills. As the song goes, “I breathe in, I breathe out. Put one foot in front of the other. Take one day at a time.”